We have to break many old arrangements and change a lot of domesticated beliefs to really keep a space for someone who hurts us or who is angry without judging to withdraw, defend, accuse, intellectualize, share their dream. Why not try to break one of the hundreds or thousands of agreements you have now? Maybe you`re thinking you`re not good at painting — break the watercolors and have fun creating something. By gradually continuing the process, you can change things gradually for the better. If we have established relationship agreements (regardless of the relationship) that the exchanges are for information purposes in the name of intimacy, not a complaint or a request to repair anything to protect me from the emotional reactions I create myself… That`s impressive. This is a vulnerable intimacy and can go anywhere (no attachment to the result). Where it`s going to go is more truth, especially if the person who hears this sharing can go into his emotional body and find out what`s going on in response to sharing and then share YOUR emotional truth right now. How do we know the correct interpretation of Ruiz`s reference to John 1:1-5? We could break one of its four agreements and make the assumption of its intent. Or if you`re really interested in the truth, you might ask him. The book is based on a series of spiritual beliefs, held by Toltec`s seniors, to help readers transform their lives into a new experience of freedom, happiness and love.
 According to the author, everything a man does is based on agreements he has made with himself, with others, with God and with life itself.  In these agreements, we can tell ourselves who they are, how to behave, what is possible and what is impossible.  Some agreements that create individuals may not cause problems, but there are certain arrangements that come from a place of fear and have the power to deplete emotional energy and reduce a person`s self-esteem.  The book states that these self-limiting agreements cause unnecessary suffering.  Ruiz also believes that to find personal joy, one must get rid of socially imposed and fear-based agreements that can unconsciously influence the individual`s behaviour and thinking.  Another fundamental premise of the book suggests that much of the suffering is created and that most people have the ability to transform themselves and the negative thoughts they have about the situations in their lives.  The author identifies the sources of unhappiness in life and proposes four beneficial agreements that can be concluded with oneself to improve their general state of well-being. By pacting with these four most important chords, an individual is able to dramatically influence the amount of happiness he feels in his life, regardless of external circumstances.  If we agree with ourselves on not taking things personally (#2) gives us the opportunity to look inward, find and change the old arrangements and beliefs — most of the time, the lies of our domestication in childhood — that grip us emotionally and push us to react. The author of the article describes precisely the “dream” of people that distorts what people say or do. It is a powerful gift from Toltec Wisdom.
With respect, it is about accepting everything that exists as it is, not what we want.